Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
