apparently the secret to your success is patron
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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