He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
