you guys were way drunker than both of me
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dick very happy bro
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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