There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
