Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
