But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize