he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
