It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
