This girl is more easily done than said...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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