Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Be still, my beating vagina.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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