We just shotgunned beers for America
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Is this like a preordered booty call?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
The ass gains better be worth it
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