And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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