Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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