Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
im holly from the hills drunk
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
false alarm, still single
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
