you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
