Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
