Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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