there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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