Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
