i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
