I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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