Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I fill condoms, not promises.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
