I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
