We won't sleep together?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
