Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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