Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
you win again, gameday.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
