am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
