if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
