the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
