All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
