Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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