I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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