just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
