Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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