drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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