Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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