Soap is not a condiment
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize