please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
