I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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