i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize