I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
