did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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