Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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