it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
