Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
