He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
