wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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