I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
