Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
