I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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