i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
