It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
