I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
