Do you still have your period?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
