we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
