Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
