and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize