wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
