I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
