My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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