Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm at about main and main street
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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