So drunk, too bad you don't want this
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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