his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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