So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
