First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
