yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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