Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Someone came in the potted fern
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
