It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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