i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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