and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize