This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
