I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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