I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
