I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
