i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
