i jhust puked up my retainher.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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