i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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