He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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