i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
