I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she looked like the before picture.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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