i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
