Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
